Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
It was so wonder-Full to be at last Sunday’s Rock Your Chit Practice with Laura and company. The theme was Purna, which was just perfect for me, as that is how I would describe my life right now. I’ve been Full of love, happiness, joy, and peace, for the last few months, I wonder if I might be arrested for excessive bliss! I’ve also been so full of thoughts, that it just seems like it is time to share again.
As I’d shared on an earlier blog, the last four years (actually more like ten, but the last four in particular) were very difficult for me. And, what made them so difficult, besides some of the circumstances, was that I was so isolated. It was a situation that I created for myself, and yet, the circumstances lent themselves to “suffering alone”. Unfortunately, it was a lonely and very sad place to be, until I finally found friends who were going through similar experiences. Misery really doesn’t love company, but misery needs friends and support. I am so grate-Full to these beauty-Full beings for holding my hand when I really needed something to hold on to.
Last fall, my life shifted. And, one of the catalysts was Laura. The first workshop I took with her, the theme was Shakti. It was about building Shakti within, but more importantly, how do we use the Shakti, what do we do with this incredible energy within? The answer: Share.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing. I am sharing and opening myself to the possibilities. My world, that had been so small (my own doing) has become so BIG, so infinite, so LIGHT. I am creating space instead of burying myself. I’ve now been through Part 1 and Part 2 of the Anusara Immersions with John. Everything about Shiva Shakti Tantra resonates through the core of my being. Yes, the light is so bright after being in the dark for so long. I have awakened and it feels so good.
I have been wondering how long this may last? Every morning I think, am I still happy? And the answer is a resounding “YES”. It is simply amazing, considering I felt I was living a nightmare for so long. Sometimes I have concerns that by being more open I am making myself vulnerable, as sharing may not be received in the same manner it is being offered. My intent is good. My life is good. It isn’t perfect. It is Purna.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Anyway, if you're interested, check out my blog http://theforceexpansive.blogspot.com
Love and blessings,
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Ok, so I've never been able to do the splits in all my 47 years. Why start now?
It's not even whether I can finally, finally settle comfortably on the floor. That would be great. I would certainly celebrate! It's more the working-toward that I am interested in, the coming-back-to repeatedly. Oh yes, the sadhana.
As we've been hearing in class for weeks now, sadhana realizes intentions. Practice doesn't just make perfect, practice itself *is* perfect. And so Hanumanasana will be my sadhana this year, a pose in which I'll really feel my sutra -- every breath, rejoice! every breath, love! And every moment in Hanuman will help me hold my vision clear -- how may I serve, how may I add more love to the world?
Now that I've pronounced it, I know you'll be with me this year to meet the challenges of Hanumanasana. And more than that, I know I'll do my own part to help you meet your challenges, to leap to great heights with a full heart.
And so I'm curious: what form does your sutra take? What pose sums it all up?
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Been working on my sutra, and I wanted to share with you how it's gone because it’s lovely how a combination of opening and connection to the divine and to our kula created a more authentic intention and a deeper understanding.
In mid-December, my first attempt at a sutra was born in reaction to some challenging work issues. It went something like this, 'purify my intentions, and relinquish my impact to the divine.' My desire was to set positive thought in action, while releasing liability for the ripples I initiated, and more importantly, letting go of how those ripples landed with others. Prone to an overactive sense of responsibility, I felt a need to contain my world to that which I could control. I remember, when I said it out loud, it landed flat, and felt like I was throwing up my hands completely, shedding all responsibility. While I’m still not sure what level of responsibility I can take for how others behave, I immediately noticed the feeling of separation that sutra generated. As I sat with this sutra (and its shadow), I recognized how difficult it would be to set in motion positive intentions when oriented this way. Needless to say, the only surviving aspect of this sutra is a seed of conscious intent. A cultivation of presence felt right as a way to feel the depth of gratitude and appreciation for all the wonderful things coming in to my life, as well as address challenges with fewer veils.
During the New Year’s class, my sutra evolved to a practice of presence in the mudya. To me, presence represents momentary awareness and deep listening, to myself, others and the larger community. At this point in sutra-volution, the mudya referred to my mid-line or the point of balance of any set of extremes, which, for this bendy girl, is one of the deepest revelations of Anusara. Mudya goes beyond the physical; off the mat, hugging to the mudya helps me balance between being and becoming, observance and action, light and shadow. This sutra felt right – and I was happy, but something nagged at me. Presence in the mudya seemed irrelevant to the insight I gained around my tendency to separate myself.
Enter Laura and you, beautiful kula! Last weekend, I realized during savasana the layer of meaning I’d been missing! Mudya is the middle, and also the interior. A presence in the middle suggests I’m on the inside, and part-of a whole, whether that be Larke, a home, a community, a relationship, a system or a universe. When I’m present to being in the middle of all those things, I can’t be separate from them; my participation is contributing to a larger whole – how I participate then becomes my choice. This epiphany hit deep, even its form reveals how seemingly disparate themes are unified into a whole. Presence in the mudya – what a lovely way to both set a goal, and gently remind me of my role in the universe.
This sutra has unraveled into such a gift with many dimensions of meaning, surely there are others out there - what does presence in the mudya mean to you?